Musings by the Hairslave

Got to do something different with my longtime test subject, and lovely spokes-model,  Kadie.

The logo for The Spa at David's, Sacramento, Ca (now closed)

We’ve been growing her hair out, and have gotten a little bit more subdued with her color lately, so we decided to try out the new Ombre color technique. Boy did it work for her. She wears many styles beautifully, but I particularly like something runway ready like this on Kadie!

We recently had our rotting/dangerous deck torn out. Yay! It was getting ridiculously smelly. For years we struggled to keep the dogs from peeing on it. They were pretty good for a while, but after the rats started living under it, we gave up. For years I would chase Homer into the back part of the yard (Buddha pretty much goes wherever Homer goes), but towards the end, I just didn’t have the oomph.

Now we have a beautiful new dog run right outside the back door! Washable artificial turf, a wall separating the dog run from the back, so my plants will get a bit of a break from the stomping and urinating. I’m so excited that I don’t have to struggle to keep the plants alive, while dodging poop mines. All of this right outside the back door were the deck was, and guess what? Can’t keep those bastards out of the back area.

Right outside the back door.

The run and back yard (need a gate here).

Update: Here we are a week and a bit later, and I ABSOLUTELY LOVE this stuff. It looks really nice, and our feet are now spotless coming inside, even when it rains!! And the only thing I have to do is cleanup and raking, which I do anyway…

I realized something today. I really am smart enough. I know at some level that sounds ridiculous; either too simplistic (of course I’m “smart enough”, what does that even mean), or too grandiose (I mean come on, who cares how smart I think I am, right?).

But here’s the thing, no matter how it may seem to others (I am an admitted know-it-all), I really never feel smart enough in professional settings. For years I dreamed of being an educator, but not only did I not know how to go about it, at some level a fear of not really being good enough held me back. However, over the last few years I took a chance, and leaped into education. And guess what? I did OK. As a matter of fact, I did better than I would have hoped.

It turns out, most of those people you admire? They are frauds, almost all of them. We all are on some level. The thing that makes them special is they don’t quit. When you meet your idols in person you see the faults. Maybe she’s using a particular method you consider out dated or even ill advised, or he has a lack of charisma, or maybe they’re just insufferable and no matter what they know, you just don’t care. But what you should take away from that moment is the “ah-ha”!  The moment when you realize that you have the potential to be better than them.

Over the past six months I was introduced to two separate, but amazingly similar, incidences with educators. In both situations I felt that the students where amazingly underwhelmed by the staggering egos of the “teachers”, and that the information was not only patently false, but even bad business. I realized that not only could I do better than them, but at some level I needed to do better than them.

Now, I’m not saying I’m perfect, or even particularly talented truthfully. But I do know that I’m good enough, I’m smart enough, and doggone it, people respect me (sorry Stuart). And I don’t quit.

People speak of the blues as if they’re exclusive to the dreariness of winter. That’s a bad assumtion, I hate summer. Really. I hate summer.

I hate the heat, I hate the glare, I hate the dryness. Boy, I spend the spring loving my garden, so thrilled, thinking, “Why do I always dread this?”. Until real summer hits and I’m scrambling to keep everything watered, without runoff! Scrambling to keep the weeds down, struggling to keep the compost heap damp, stressing over keeping the pests down. I have a bad case of spider mites, and scale. No not this year, ever since we moved in 18 years ago. Yay! They both love hot, dry, windy weather. Yay! I live in the Sacramento Valley. Yay!

I try not to use pesticides and insecticides unless I’m really desperate. And I did have one summer where I went crazy with the insecticide for the spider mites. But everything just kept getting worse. After all, I WAS killing off all the good guys along with the bad! So after an internet search I discovered the perfect cure. Perfectly bio-friendly, green, organic, whatever you worry about, it’s golden.

The secret? Water! Spider mites and, to a lesser extent, scale hate water! The blast of a hose washing off the dust a couple of days a week, and bingo, no problem. Except for the utter guilt. I’m a water waster at heart. I fight it as best as possible. I don’t wash my car, I’m very careful about runoff, and I use low water systems wherever possible. But at heart? At heart I want ferns, and hosta, and astillbe, and more ferns, and moss, and I think you see where I’m going. I hate summer.

But fall, oh how glorious. Glorious colors, glorious clothes, glorious weather. And the joy of an easy care garden again. Call me insane, but I want to live in Portland or Seattle. San Francisco would be perfect, but yah, right. I ain’t no millionaire…people tell me I’m crazy, I’d be depressed, I’d hate the constant grey and rain. But they don’t know me.

I hate summer.

We had the most fantastic trip to Hawaii. I know, most of you are sick of hearing about our trips to Hawaii every *couph* few years…aaannyywayy. This was the best by far. And keep in mind that we love Hawaii so much it was our wedding theme!

My husband Pete and I took our son William to Oahu to visit our friend Scott for a week. While we were there we stayed for a few days at the Turtle Bay Resort. It’s very nice, but once again we realized we aren’t really “resort” people. I like to sit around the pool for a while sure, and the swim up bar in Mexico was fun for a while on our last resort attempt. But really we were all itching to do something.

The trip was a graduation present for William.

William, dinner at Turtle Bay Resort

He graduated in four years!  We figure by not going five or six, the trip to Hawaii was a bargain.  Though not as much of one as we’d hoped.

The first day was rather laid back.  We hung out at our good friend Scott’s.  It’s where we would be staying when not at the resort we had booked for a couple of nights on the north shore of Oahu.

Scott is always fun to visit. He lives on the 14th floor of a condo building a few miles from Waikiki. I happen to love Waikiki, and Scott, and Oahu. So staying in his fabulous apartment with the lanai is a real treat. William even slept on the Lanai. At first I was worried he might feel a little cheated. But the weather was decent most of the time, and he was a summer counsler for many years. He didn’t seem to have too much trouble sleeping, but he almost never complains, so it’s hard to tell with him.

We visited Hanauma Bay. I’ve been there before, and honestly wasn’t thrilled. It feels like the Disney of snorkeling to me. However, the snorkeling was amazing! William even saw two white tipped reef sharks!

White Tipped Reef Shark, they like to hide apparently.

I’ve been hoping to see a shark for years. He managed to relocate them after they fled from him. Pete and I both got to see them, so cool. They were like little great whites. I kept thinking how jealous my ex-wife Laurie would be. Not because I want her to be jealous mind you. It’s that I have been hoping to get Laurie there on a family trip for a while, but it hasn’t been practicle for her so far.

The first day at the resort was nice enough, it would have been better if Oahu’s freeways didn’t suck balls, but whatever. We got to enjoy the pool for the afternoon, but by the next day William wasn’t feeling really well. He had been indulging in the spirits, and that’s not really “his thing” shall we say? It was veeery windy on our second, and only full day there; they were warning everyone to stay out of the water due to the strong current and wind. I suspect the tsunami, but that’s probably just paranoia. But since the earthquake hit Japan the night we arrived in Oahu, I was feeling indignantly paranoid.  We were in Hawaii when Katrina hit New Orleans.  We where in Hawaii when a boy had his foot removed by a shark, but, with all due sympathy to Japan, I was by god not having my trip ruined by the wind. or a freakin tsunami!

Laying by the pool was ok for a bit, but we wanted to snorkel, or at least enjoy actually swimming in the pool. Not so much. We did have a nice hike, but once again we were feeling a little bit like summer vacation trip instead of the planned graduation present.

Believe it or not, I was still concerned William wasn’t really getting the trip I had imagined for him. He’s hard to read. But then…

Then he got a confirmation for his kiteboarding lesson. I think I was nearly as happy as he was. It was the only thing he seemed truly excited about, and I have to admit I was a little tempted myself. But I have a business to run, so I don’t risk my body unnecessarily these days.

William was getting a three hour, private, lesson. They weren’t sure he’d get up with a three hour lesson, so we didn’t skimp on a group lesson. It took William four. And he’ll tell you himself that what he really got was an expensive expert level kite-flying lesson. It was almost half the lesson before he got near the water! He did not in fact manage to ski in three hours, but his teacher was sure he would have him up within another hour, so we paid, and he did! It wasn’t for long, but in the end he said it was the two plus hours in the cold water and wind that cut his runs short. He was obviously having a mild case of reaction shock. We got him home to a warm shower and food, and in the end he was so happy, we knew we had finally gotten the trip we’d hoped for. And then he went and made the occasion better, like he always does. He told us that the trip was Epic. We had been talking about “young adult” slang (ow, it made me feel like an old fart just typing that), and he was saying that “epic” is the new cool, I can usually count on him to keep us up to date.  So it was especially sweet of him to say. He went on to say that he was having a great time before the kite-boarding lesson, and that it was one of his all-time favorite trips.

That made it the best trip ever for Pete and me as well.

Sunset at the world famous Mai Tai Bar, Waikiki.

Yes, I wear a skirt.  Whew!  That’s a weight off.  Wait a minute, just to be clear,  I don’t wear a girls skirt, I wear a guys skirt.  Oh yah, you may call it a kilt, but it’s still a skirt, right?  Okay, it’s actually called a Utilikilt; I’m not scottish.

The reason I wear a kilt?  I’ve always loved kilts, I’ve always wanted to wear a kilt.  And, I’m a grown man that can do whatever he wants.  I also have a Mohawk.

The point is, as a hairstylist, I’m here to tell you, YOU can do whatever you want.  Just so you know, I am talking about hair, but it pretty much goes for anything in your life.  In this day and age there are products, there are techniques, there are tools, to make your hair do almost anything.  And in that same vein, there are tools, advisors, the internets, whatever you need, to help you do whatever you want with your life.  It’s true! Go to school and get a degree in whatever you love.  Get a makeover and wear the clothes that the people you look up to wear, or better yet, the people they look up to.  Don’t loose weight, be healthy, love you and the way nature made you, but revel in it. By clothes that fit and show you off to your best advantage. Or join a gym and have at it. Go skydiving, or better yet kiteboarding in Hawaii.  Get a way cool movie star hair do.

I dye my hair blue, I wear a mohawk, I wear a kilt. I’m not always brave and happy.  I suffer from pretty severe depression a good deal of the time.  Mostly mornings, as anybody who knows me is quite aware.  But I’m here to tell you, if I wanted to, I could be a superstar.  I could be Tabitha Coffey, or just me, but rich and famous, but who needs to work that hard?  That’s not my dream.  I live my dream.

Even if it is just to wear a kilt.

1/21/11

Today is day three of operation boredom, two more days to go. The staycation was supposed to get me bored enough to look forward to going back to work. Kinda like summer break did when I was in school. It’s not working. Yes, I am a little bored. But honestly, I’ve really embraced the idea of the staycation. I keep coming up with idea’s and projects that need to be taken care of, and then making myself not do them. It’s a struggle every day, but I try to persevere.

Actually, I did go to work today. I had a client, whom I can’t seem to say no to, who was attending a very special event tonight. We had to make sure she looked like a 1960′s sex kitten, which we pulled off beautifully. When will Mad Men die?

After that grueling day, I got a massage. Wow, I’m starting to sound like something out of The A-List. What, you’ve never heard of The A-List? Where have you been. It’s the Real Housewives for gays. We’re way more fun. Though I truly don’t watch it, I get all my trash info from People Magazine, and The Soup. I’m not into drama, but I am into Joel McHale. And the massage was a gift. Good timing though, there’s a fine line between relaxation and boredom. I’m working on truly understanding the difference.

Maybe I’ll garden tomorrow. Ha!

1-18/19-11

Started my staycation today. Hopefully I’ll get really bored; I’ve never taken time off without travel before. I decided it would be a nice change to take off time and stay home. We’ll see…

Yesterday was a short but productive day, followed by a whirlwind trip and lovely evening.

Business-wise I had a cake walk. First a chic pixie cut; then a trendy a-line bob and color on my super sweet french client. A quick part t-up on my ultra fabulous (longest running) client Marilyn. 2 more haircuts (15 year client and 6 month client), and a super bubbly color consultation client referred by my ultra fabulous (longest running) client Marilyn, and her equally lovely daughter Ruthie. She hates her hair, but when I finish the color, cut, and style she’s going to love it. It’s movie star hair in the rough.

Pete and I then headed to Berkeley to see our friend (and gallery artist-in-residence) Deborah Pittman‘s one woman show, and to enjoy an exquisite prix fixe dinner at Chez Panisse. We had both forgotten it was our anniversary, and really lucked out with the dinner reservation.

I’m not going to say it was the best food I’ve ever had, but it was without a doubt one of our top 5 best dining experiences. And keep in mind, it was $80.00 a person. That’s not bad when you figure that it’s 5 courses, but still not Burger King.

We started with artichokes and chicories with herb and Meyer lemon salsa, moved on to Petrale sole with sea urchin sauce and braised endives and escarole, followed up with spit-roasted Becker Lane Ranch pork loin with yellowfoot Chanterelle mushrooms, cardoon gratin, and fried potatoes, and finished with candied yuzu Pavlova. A wonderfully unique menu of items, and consistently delicious, I particularly enjoyed the salad and the dessert, but I couldn’t find fault with any of them.

We had plenty of parking issues, this being Berkeley after all, but I must say the drive, the dinner, and the following concert were just about the best way we could have spent honoring our 17 years together. 17 years, god I’m old…

Oh well, the peak of the evening was definitely Deborah’s piece, The World According To Earl, her one woman show about her father Earl. At turns funny, poignant, and inspiring, the only thing better than the piece itself was the fact that my son William was helping her produce it! What a bargain his college tuition has been. I’ve never seen the concrete evidence of a college education as clearly as I have with this amazing young man. The set design and construction, as well as the multi-media piece he created with Deborah were a real treat. His dedication and work ethic would make any parent proud.

After the concert (which we attended at the Berkeley City Club) we had drinks at a nondescript bar with the star of the evening, and our friends Marie-Theres Brown and her husband Steve. Then to bed in the City Club as well. overall, not a bad way to start a “staycation”.

1-17-11

Well, today started nicely enough, with a good sleep in. My first appointment was a little later than usual, so I got to be a slacker for a bit. That was deserved. I spent four hours at the salon on sunday adding shelving and generally upgrading my salon! It actually gave me something to look forward to this morning. But no, today wasn’t going to be all sunshine and puppy dogs. I mean honestly, who expects a Kaiser to be closed, even on a holiday? They told me my prescription would be ready, but they lied. It’s not cool to hold my antidepressants hostage on a Monday.

Luckily the work schedule was great. I had gotten a client on my cancelations list in, so I knew I had gratitude going for me; however, a client being ten minutes late tends to bring my mood down. It may not seem like much, but if my client is ten minutes late, I will normally be ten minutes late for a good portion of the day. Really, I’m a great scheduler. Her hair ended up fabulous, I’m good.

My next client was a very nice gentleman, with nice curly hair, easy to cut.

I had scheduled in a break today (very rare for me), so I had a chance to catch up. Then, on to my next client, a new college student…veery cute. Easy to do a nice cut for him. Fine straight hair that fell perfectly. Sigh, was I ever that cute? Really feeling old today I think…

Next up was BD, old Jewish lady, whiny and often funny, likes her hair very short, but Judy Dench she is not, lol!

I’ve known my next to the last client for over 10 years, she’s a sweetie. Used to have a pug, so she can do no wrong. However, she’s got crappy hair. Fine, very straight, pokey, and a strange hairline. We give her ash blonde hair a fine application of foils with lightener, and use a dark copper blonde demi between the foils. Perfect.

My last client, who also has fine straight hair, but hers like cotton candy, has been a wonderful friend of the family for many years, so I am always happy to wash away her grey, trim, and style. That means I’m finished for the day!

Dinner with husband Pete, and William! Can’t go wrong at El Centro. Margarita Monday, woo hoo!!

p.s. $300.00 worth of clothes from English Laundry arrived today!! All being sent back because it’s cut to fit a skinny 17 year old. I am so old…